It has been a long time since I paid some attention to this blog. Most of my attention has gone into my other blog Mama’s Cuppa as well as other writing assignments. And well, also all the other stuff required to manage a house and a kid. This blog is where I write down whatever thought just creeps into my mind and nags my brain to start typing ! So, here is my experience.
The last few days in this month had been quite enjoyable. We attended a cousin’s wedding, danced a lot. I went home to meet my little brother who returned from abroad after almost two whole years. Meeting family is what makes you realise there is so much love out there. It was great. Two days before I arrived back home, Mumbai- no place like home! But life won’t be falling back into place for a few more days now as I contracted chicken pox.
As I sit and write this down I feel itchy all over. My husband suggested that I write down my experience as it is kinda therapy for me. And I started writing as soon as my fever subsided and I could sit up. I love to get lost in writing. The way my mind goes into another zone while I sit down typing makes me forget all the other worries.
Yes, I have chicken pox but what concerns me most is my little boy. How much I love him but I want to keep him away so that he doesn’t have to deal with the disease. But it is a pain to see him unhappy without the comfort of my touch. I love him more than myself as does every other mother I suppose.
Now I am in a crossroad thinking should I comfort him with the hug he is coming for again and again (and I have to send him away every time) or should I just ignore his request and his love and let him be away and safe?
How can a disease let me not comfort my little baby and look at his sad face! Or should I think there is actually a force stronger than anything else in the world which will let me love my boy and also keep him safe? I am not questioning God and I trust him completely. The question is that should I believe in miracles or is mother’s love a miracle in itself to protect the child from harm’s way.
May be I am sick and that is making me a little too emotional. I know I will heal in a few days. But I wonder how much effort and thought God has put in creating mother, making her selfless enough to think about another person- her child, even when she is the one needing care.
No I am not praising myself indirectly. It is about all the other moms I am thinking about. My respect for my mother and all the other mothers out there increase each time when I find myself in such a situation. And I am proud to grow as a better human being after being a mother. Compassion is what makes us closer to God And mothers have a whole lot of that.