I have been burying myself in my course books recently (since almost a month to be precise) desperately feeding my brain with information, and that means lots of information, so that I could at least be certain that I pass my exams (even if not with flying colors! That’s not required…) I just want my degree in my hands in a few more months…
And the result was that I did okay…but what it resulted in, apart from looking at the question paper and saying..okay..I know a few of the answers, I can secure pass marks….is that I had to rethink all that I am doing in my life- which includes enrolling in a course to get a degree, starting a blog and doing a few freelance writing gigs and managing the house, getting groceries, doing laundry, cleaning the house,etc etc etc- Yup..that never ending list in short would say growing up, taking responsibilities and marrying…Did I mention being a mother to an almost four-year old who loves to play with my patience all day?
So, I grew frustrated and tried to undo a few things to lessen the burden and stress. My already information overloaded mind tried chugging out the exams as the first option. But then my rational part of the mind (and my very rational family members) warned me off it. I didn’t finish a year and half of the course to give it up in the end..hang on for 6 more months please.
The next option was obviously giving up writing. I just didn’t see any reason why I was stressing that I wasn’t able to post anything on my blog for a long time. It’s not like I would be fired or something for ignoring it for a month (duh! I would never fire myself…). I thought over it again and again and the prospect of making this writing thing as a career seemed like a joke…Who am I kidding!
But after a few days, after I finished with three of my semester papers, I could relax. I still have one more to go but I have a few days time. the day after I sat down, the first thing I wanted to do was open my blog and write down something. Anything at all…Then I realized, I loved to write. That is the reason I started this blog and that is why I got yet another blog after a few months. It’s not about making a career out of it. It is all about what I would love to do given any point of time in my life under any circumstances, good or bad.
I did it since I was a little girl, an introvert, wrote diary entries every time and my room was filled with diaries of more than 10 years! My father used to get new ones for me every year and I filled them down. Unfortunately, I don’t have those treasures now. But isn’t that enough to tell me why I write and never give up on it. May be I would close this blog. But then I would find another diary to quench my thirst of writing down the things that mattered to me.
Better to stick with the blog I think, because, at least I will never lose it. 10 more years of writing or may be 20, 30 or 40 years of this..may be several other blogs over a period of time, I would have a treasure. A treasure that would hold all my thoughts, my feelings, opinions and all the stages of my life…all at one place. So, even if I will be momentarily busy with other things, like a growing child or a dreadful exam, I will find time again to do what I love to do- write…just like I am doing now.
Another good thing worth mentioning about writing, specifically blogging, is that I get to know so many different people from all over the world! This is just a wonderful experience knowing each one, even though virtually, but a comment or a like or a mention is what makes me (still a little bit of an introvert) happy. How on earth would I have known so many people or met so many good souls from all over the world. I wish to meet a few of these friends in my life time somehow.
But I still have one more paper to write…so I must get back to studying..wish me luck!